Most important day of your life

Recent discussion and comments have got me thinking about this one.

What will be the most important or special day of our life? What defines it as that?

I think my definition would be “The most important day of your life is the one that most affected who you are, what you believe, your core motivations and inspirations”.

I have heard people say that the day they got married was their most important day, others have stated that it was day they were born as this was the day  they came into being and without that day, nothing else would ever have happened. For some it was their 18th or 21st Birthday, or a graduation day.

For me, I think I can honestly say, it was the day I became a father. Until that day, for all the high and lows in my life, I dont think I was really complete, but meeting my baby, put everything else into perspective. I certainly changed as a person, and the things I did assumed a new importance and benchmark.

This initial thought process all started around a comment about what we are willing to do/spend to make sure our special days are as perfect as they can be? Generally, the answer always is ‘whatever I can’. The average wedding costs over £10,000, parties for 18th and 21st and even 1st birthdays run into the hundreds of pounds, the same for graduation celebrations.

But what do people spend on that most magical day, the birth of their child?

The day a baby is born, is a truely special day,  and the impact of that day will live with us, and our children for the rest of our lives. Why do we not do everything in our power to make it as special as we can?

Is it because we don’t see why we should? The NHS or government are meant to provide these things so why should we have to pay? Is it because we think it is the medical profession’s responsibility and they will look after us? Is it because we think birth is out of our hands and we are powerless in impacting on the experience we are destined to have?

Private classes start for as little as £50 and there is such a wide range available, but less than 10% of expectant parents take a private class. WHY? Why is it we will spend £1000’s for our wedding day, but not for birth of our child?

The range of courses available now is amazing and caters to people from all walks of life. There are specific labour and birth preparation classes in the form of active birthing classes such as MummyNatal, created by The Natal Family, which will teach you how to prepare physically and mentally for birth.  There are special information groups for water births and home births.  There are classes for couples that explain how couples can work together in labour, and perhaps most importantly, how to have informed choices in labour and birth.

And now, even classes run by dads just for dads, like DaddyNatal.

What do they cost? Well, a MummyNatal 6 week course for an expectant mum, combined with a 2 evening Daddynatal course for the expectant dad,  AND a couples class – (that’s at least 17 hours of preparation and education ready for labour and birth) costs less than £170 . Yes, you read that right. £170. An NCT traditional class will cost about £200 depending on area you live in, or if you wanted to hang the expense you could have a couples weekend away learning and relaxing, whilst staying in a nice hotel, and still not spend more than £600.

Couples will happily spend £50 every 6 weeks for baby swimming or massage classes,  but don’t consider spending the money on making sure the day their baby was born is as special as possible. Why?

So again I ask the question, why do we not invest some time and money (and not alot of money considering what we spend on other things and how much we are going to end up spending on our children) to give us the best possible chance of the birth day,  we and our children deserve?

A lot of these points I will cover in future entries as I feel some of them deserve an entry to themselves.

4 thoughts on “Most important day of your life

  1. I love this site – looks fantastic but the content is even better! As you know Dean I have had lengthy debates recently regards the importance of PEER TO PEER education. Is it right that Daisy Birthing insist our birth mentors have given birth – well to offer peer support to mums then I think absolutely. Is it right Daddy Natal is taught by a dad – absolutely yes. We under estimate the affects of pregnancy and birth on the father but I see so many couples struggling after birth, not because of how mum feels but because of how dad feels.

    Re the wedding comparison above. Absolutely! You know I am constantly telling our mums to be that if a stranger in the street or even their closest friend said to them of their wedding day ‘oh its only one day you just need to grit your teeth and get through it’, they would surely be mortally offended. Yet why do people feel it is ok to say this about ‘d day’??? I have 5 children and every d-day has been the best day!

    Keep up the good work

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